A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. “No problem,” says the mathematician, “there is a simple equation for that,” and he shows him the Gaussian normal distribution. The shoeseller stares some time at het equation and asks, “What is that symbol?” “That is the Greek [...]
A promising PhD candidate was presenting his thesis at his final examination. He proceeded with a derivation and ended up with something like:
F = -MA
He was embarrassed, his supervising professor was embarrassed, and the rest of the committee was embarrassed. The student coughed nervously and said “I seem to have made a slight error back [...]
Q: Why did the number get mad at his wife?
A: Because she was being irrational.
Q: Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?
A: Because they thought they had a good dot product.
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
Q: What do you get when you cross a sherpa and a mountain goat?
A: Nothing. you can’t cross two scalars.
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
Theorem: log(-1) = 0
Proof:
a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)
On the other hand:
b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0
Combining a) and b) gives:
2* log(-1) = 0
Divide both sides by 2:
log(-1) = 0
Theorem: 1$ = 1c.
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.
1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c
Here $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that many PhD’s in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one.
Statistics are like a bikini; What is revealed is interesting; What is concealed is crucial.