A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy.  “No problem,” says the mathematician, “there is a simple equation for that,” and he shows him the Gaussian normal distribution.  The shoeseller stares some time at het equation and asks, “What is that symbol?” “That is the Greek letter pi.”  “What is pi?” “That is the ratio between the circumference and the diameter of a circle.”  Upon this the shoeseller cries out: “What does a circle have to do with shoes?!”

Q: Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?
A: Because they thought they had a good dot product.

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

Theorem: log(-1) = 0
Proof:
a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)

On the other hand:
b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0

Combining a) and b) gives:
2* log(-1) = 0
Divide both sides by 2:
log(-1) = 0

Theorem: 1$ = 1c.
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.

1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c

Here $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that many PhD’s in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one.

Statistics are like a bikini; What is revealed is interesting; What is concealed is crucial.

Mathmatician — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the rest follows by induction.

Statistician — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is expermental error so throw it out, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, the rest follows by induction.

Computer Scientist — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, ….

Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply.