Why is a physician held in much higher esteem than a statistician?
Why is a physician held in much higher esteem than a statistician?
A physician makes an analysis of a complex illness whereas a statistician makes you ill with a complex analysis!
Archive for December, 2008
A mathematician, applied mathematician and a statistician
A mathematician, applied mathematician and a statistician all apply for the same job. At the interview they are asked the question, what is 1+1. The mathematician replies, “I can prove that it exists but not that it is unique.” The applied mathematician after some thought replies, “the answer is approximately 1.99 with an error in [...]
The Top Ten Reasons To Become A Statistician
Deviation is considered normal.
We feel complete and sufficient.
We are “mean” lovers.
Statisticians do it discretely and continuously.
We are right 95% of the time.
We can legally comment on someone’s posterior distribution.
We may not be normal but we are transformable.
We never have to say we are certain.
We are honestly significantly different.
No one wants our jobs.
Cooking With Statistics
A hungry man went into a restaurant and noticed that the daily special was rabbit burgers, a real delicacy, for only 49 cents a burger. He was astounded at his good fortune to find such a bargain. When he inquired of the cook, the cook told him that in order to keep prices down he [...]
Statistical Assumptions
There were a physicist, a circus strong man, and a statistician marooned on a desert island. A box of canned food washes ashore, and the question is how to open the cans. The physicist suggests dropping them from the trees so that they break open. The strong man says that’s too messy. Instead, he will [...]
Statistics are like a bikini
Statistics are like a bikini; What is revealed is interesting; What is concealed is crucial.
Proof That All Odd Numbers Are Prime
Mathmatician — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the rest follows by induction.
Statistician — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is expermental error so throw it out, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, the rest follows by induction.
Computer Scientist — 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is [...]
Mathematical Baby Formula
Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply.
How does one insult a mathematician?
Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: “Your brain is smaller than any ε>0!”
What does the zero say to the the eight?
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!