Archive for December, 2008

Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?

Q: Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?
A: Because they thought they had a good dot product.

Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?

Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!

Sherpa and Goat

Q: What do you get when you cross a sherpa and a mountain goat?
A: Nothing. you can’t cross two scalars.

Philosophy and maths

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Math problems?

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

Log Negative One Zero

Theorem: log(-1) = 0
Proof:
a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)
On the other hand:
b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0
Combining a) and b) gives:
2* log(-1) = 0
Divide both sides by 2:
log(-1) = 0

Lipton Company is big on statistics

The Lipton Company is big on statistics–especially t-tests.

Dollars Equal Cents

Theorem: 1$ = 1c.
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.
1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c
Here $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that many PhD’s in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one.

Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees?

Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees?
A: It’s referred to as the log scale.

How do you tell one bathroom full of statisticians from another?

Q: How do you tell one bathroom full of statisticians from another?
A: Check the p-value.