A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. “No problem,” says the mathematician, “there is a simple equation for that,” and he shows him the Gaussian normal distribution. The shoeseller stares some time at het equation and asks, “What is that symbol?” “That is the Greek letter pi.” “What is pi?” “That is the ratio between the circumference and the diameter of a circle.” Upon this the shoeseller cries out: “What does a circle have to do with shoes?!”

# A new government survey…

A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.

# The Promising Phd Candidate

A promising PhD candidate was presenting his thesis at his final examination. He proceeded with a derivation and ended up with something like:

F = -MA

He was embarrassed, his supervising professor was embarrassed, and the rest of the committee was embarrassed. The student coughed nervously and said “I seem to have made a slight error back there somewhere.”

One of the mathematicians on the committee replied dryly, “Either that or an odd number of them!”

# Why did the number get mad at his wife?

Q: Why did the number get mad at his wife?

A: Because she was being irrational.

# Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?

Q: Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?

A: Because they thought they had a good dot product.

# Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?

Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?

A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!

# Sherpa and Goat

Q: What do you get when you cross a sherpa and a mountain goat?

A: Nothing. you can’t cross two scalars.

# Philosophy and maths

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

# Math problems?

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

# Log Negative One Zero

Theorem: log(-1) = 0

Proof:

a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)

On the other hand:

b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0

Combining a) and b) gives:

2* log(-1) = 0

Divide both sides by 2:

log(-1) = 0